What's With Girls!
by DogDays124
Summary: This story takes place after Goku left to train Uub, when Goten is 17. This is basically an introduction. Goten is trying to find the perfect girlfriend but he has trouble along the way. It's told within his point of view.
1. What's With Girls!

_**This story takes place after Goku left to train Uub, when Goten is 17. This is basically an introduction. Goten is trying to find the perfect girlfriend but he has trouble along the way. It's told within Goten's point of view.**_

**Chapter 1: What's With Girls!**

What's with girls? I ask you! I don't understand them. There's one particular girl I don't get. Her name's Valese. I have her in like four of my classes. She's a little air-headed. I know what you're thinking, but when I saw her at the mall, she was having trouble figuring out how to eat a hamburger. Talk about stupid. I want a smart girl. I might as well grow up old and alone, because I haven't had the best luck. The other day, I was walking down the street, and I saw this girl about my age.

"Hey, how come I've never seen you around here?" I asked, "I'm sure I couldn't miss you with your beauty." The girl turned around, and you wouldn't believe what happened next.

"Thank you." The girl said in a man voice. I think I'm done with girls for a while. The day before that, I tried my luck with Valese.

"Valese, could I take you out to lunch sometime?" I asked reluctantly.

"Sure, where to?" She asked.

"I was thinking that new fast food store, Chubby's." I suggested.

"Is food all you think about?" Valese asked disappointingly.

"No!" I retorted, "Maybe… What? Is something wrong with that?"

"I just don't wanna date some guy who only cares about food."

"_Gasp!_ Then I don't think this'll ever work out." I argued. Valese was not impressed. Now she practically hates me! She never wants to see me again. It didn't help that we had a project in art class to write a poem with a partner. I got paired up with her. We then wrote a song at the last minute that was a little personal. It was more of an argument than a song. But we still got an A. This is it,

"What's with girls? They're linen and they're lace. They never think of fighting, or winning in a race." I sang. Some guys in the class nodded in agreement. Valese walked up to me.

"What's with guys? Their hearts are black and blue. They never feel like doing whatever we girls wanna do." Valese sang. Some of the girls then nodded in agreement. I returned it to her.

"What's with girls? I swear they're from outer space. I guess I shouldn't be talking, since I have a Saiyan race." Some of the students laughed at my remark.

"What's with guys? They haven't got a clue. All they ever do is burp, and fight, and chew."

"What's with girls? It's only their point of view. They don't care about anyone, not even me or you." Valese then paused to think of what to say next. She just opened her mouth, but no words came out because the teacher, Mrs. Kamelie, cut her off. She said our poem was too "realistic."

"Okay! You obviously like to keep your work really realistic. I think it's best if we just cut off there. You still get an A though." Mrs. Kamelie said. I guess this means I win. That makes me a little content. Though after that experience, I still don't understand girls. I had only one thing to do now: ask Gohan for advice. He isn't exactly a chick magnet, but after spending the night at his house, I think he's the best I have.

* * *

Gohan was upstairs in his work room. He was working on some sort of report on Capsules or something. I never understood that sort of thing. I opened door and I could tell Gohan was expecting someone else.

"I told you I would be in bed with you in a second! Go_ Oh, it's you." Gohan said. I paused and just thought, 'Damn, Gohan.'

"Um, is this a bad time? Do you need to attend to someone?" I asked awkwardly, "I should go."

"No, no. What did you come here for?" Gohan requested. I took a seat in one of his chair, and took a deep breath.

"I need advice on girls." I replied.

"Oh, the answer to that is simple. Just be yourself. That's always the answer to that sort of question."

"Well a lot of girls don't like the real me. What should I do? Be someone else? I can do a great Ozzy Osbourne impression. Check it_

"No! I'm sure there'll be one girl who likes you for you." Gohan thought.

"Did Videl?" I asked intrigued.

"Well, at first, she practically hated me and wanted to find out what I was hiding. After she found out the truth, everything changed. So, maybe that's what you need to do." Gohan suggested.

"I already told just about the whole school my secret ages ago. I'm not a nerd like you." I remarked.

"Well then I don't know who you can turn to then." I sighed in disappointment and then left the room. I had no one to talk too. Now that I think about that song, I realize most of those things were true, except that black and blue thing. But I guess I never feel like doing whatever girls wanna do. Gohan always did what Videl wanted, and now they're a happy couple. I should change my attitude. I hope the new nicer Goten has better results than the old one.


	2. A Fool Who Plays it Cool

On the next day of school, I talked to this girl in my English class, and she was really nice. Her name is Greta. So I asked her out. And this time, I did the right thing by letting her pick what to do. See? I'm a fool who plays it cool! Wait, that didn't come out right…

""I'll let you pick." I allowed.

"Wow, my other boyfriends never let me pick." Greta said excitedly.

"Well, I'm a fool who plays it cool!" I exclaimed. I then paused realizing what I said, really wasn't playing it cool. Greta didn't think so either.

"Okay… Well why don't we see a movie?" Greta supposed.

"That's great! I wanted to watch that new comedy_ well, you pick the movie." I offered. I wasn't gonna mess this whole thing up yet. I wanna at least give it a good effort.

"Okay then, there's a movie called _Beautiful Man_ I was dying to see with someone."

"Sounds beautiful. I'll pick you up at_ you decide." I offered.

"Um, 6:30 sounds alright. See you then." Greta said. She walked away into the hall to go to her 2nd hour. Well that was easy. I just hope she doesn't think I'm being a pushover.

On the day of the date, I picked her up right on time. I drove her to the Orange Star Cinema. Turns out the movie we were seeing was some sort of Chick-Flick. She should've warned me about this! If anyone from school sees me here, my reputation will be flushed down the toilet. Somehow I knew this wouldn't turn out right.

I sat through the first ten minutes and I was already bored.

"What am I doing here?" I asked to myself. Greta was sitting at the edge of her seat. I don't how she liked the movie.

"This is the greatest movie ever!" Greta whispered.

"So, uh, where are we going for our next date?" I requested.

"I was thinking we could go to the mall, and we could buy stuff."

"What kind of stuff?"

"Clothes, of course!" That drew the line. I knew there was one way I could make it stop.

"Excuse me for a second. I'll go get us some popcorn." I said. I left the theater, then went outside and started the car. I was leaving; I couldn't take another second of that. So as I was driving away, I wonder if she noticed I left.

"I wonder what's taking Goten so long with that popcorn." Greta thought, "Oh, this is the part where Kirk dumps Louisa for Francesca! You're making a huge mistake!"

"Shut up!"A random person called out.

So I wasted ten and a half minutes of my life. What now? You're probably thinking I didn't do what she wanted me to. But we have like, nothing in common. Girls can't be selfish; they have to do things I like as much as I do stuff for them. People are so dumb.

The next morning I thought of doing something. I know I'll regret this, and it goes against everything I believe in but I have no choice. I'll take a book, and read it (Death Note reference)! So I read for three hours straight. I read everything we had. _Diary of a Wimpy Kid_, down to _Dames, Dates and You_.

"_To comprehend the so-said females, one must interrelate among them. Be their accompanying person. The female species can relate to someone with__ I have no idea what I'm reading!" I exclaimed. I threw the book away and grabbed another Diary of a Wimpy Kid book. So far, that's the only book that really works, and I understand. That Greg kid really knows what he's talking about. Mom then came in to see me with my head in over a thousand books. I don't know if she's proud or just shocked and confused.

"Hi, um hello, Mom." I greeted nervously. I didn't want people to know I can read. It's one of those things in life you really don't need, like writing. It also wasn't exactly cool. Mom stood there because she had no idea I could do these things without being nagged to.

"What are you doing!" Chi-Chi asked.

"Readin' a book. Don't tell anyone! This is so embarrassing!" Chi-Chi then got ahead of herself, only to be disappointed later.

"What are you reading! Math? Science? Social Studies?" She demanded.

"Diary of a Wimpy Kid: The Last Straw. It's a classic."

"Oh, never mind that then." Chi-Chi walked away with a displeased face. I kind of feel bad. Oh well.

After hitting the books, I went to see if Gohan had anymore advice. I opened my bedroom window and climbed on out. I then ran to Gohan's house, which was so close by. When I rang the doorbell, Videl arrived to answer it.

"Goten! It's been a while! What are you here for?" Videl asked as she slid open the door half way.

"Hi, um, I wanted to ask Gohan for more advice." I replied.

"For what?"

"Um, well, for girls."

"Don't ask Gohan, ask me!"

"Why?"

"I'm a girl!"

"Really? You could've fooled me." I joked. I really forgot about her though. I don't know how I didn't think of this before. It would've saved me from a lot of trouble. We sat down on the sofa near the TV.

"So, has Gohan told you about the 'Be Yourself' thing?" Videl asked.

"Yeah. It didn't work." I responded.

"Well, then to find someone you like, you need to find things you have in common. What are you good at?" Videl asked. I was about to answer, but Videl interrupted me before the words could come out. "And please don't say 'I love to fight.'" Videl said mocking my voice. Now I couldn't think of anything.

"Okay… I like to sing, I guess." I thought.

"Good, what else?"

"Um… I'm pretty good at drawing mythological creatures."

"Cool, show me." I pulled out a picture of a Minotaur; I drew recently, out of my pocket and brought it to her face. "You're good, actually."

"Thanks, it's not one of my bests though." I started, "I don't really know what else there is. Martial Arts and just sparring are my life."

"Oh, well. There could be people with your interests too. Maybe not martial arts, though." I then went back home to try my luck on the internet. On my laptop, in a browser, I typed in "I Want a Date. Net" On my profile I put the stuff I told Videl. Soon enough, I got seven replies. They weren't really the people I was looking for. Two of them recently got out of prison, three of them have anger management classes, and two of them are guys. I guess I was a little vague on the details.

"This is gonna be harder than I thought." I said as I turned off my laptop.


End file.
